Saturday, December 04, 2004


I watched Point Blank.

Now there's a goddamn Lee Marvin movie. I appreciate the suggestions in the comments, but c'mon, Paint your Wagon?

I want to see Lee Marvin singing about as much as I want to see Liberace throw a guy a savage beating.

Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind seeing that at all. Just really tearing off and beating the crap out of a guy. He could be sitting behind the piano, all bedecked in like a spangled purple jumpsuit, and this dude would come in. Liberace would be all like- "Ah. Murphy. You've come. Do you have the money?" Murphy would be like "Uh- I have part of it Mr. Liberace, sir- you see I- "
"Wait-" Liberace would say, scooting back his piano bench, flipping his cape in the air and standing. "That will not be necessary." Murphy looks back at him, confused. "I told you yesterday that if you did not have ALL the money on you, I would take it out of your ass. Which leaves me only one thing left to do."
(Cut back to Murphy, who is trembling, and looks like he might be thinking of pulling out a gun.)

"What's that, boss?"

"I need to take off my rings."

Liberace begins removing one gaudy ring after another, and slaps them down on the piano bench, each producing an impressive *clack* sound. As he removes the third ring, Murphy goes for his gun. Liberace, one step ahead of him, lifts the entire piano bench off the ground, and smashes it uppercut-style through Murphy's jaw, sending the gun flying. Murphy is sprawled on the floor and Liberace grabs him by the hair and pulls his head up. "Well, well, well, Mr Murphy- too bad for you, I didn't have time to take off the REST of my them. He draws back a fist, which we go tight on to see a large, gaudy diamond and ruby middle finger ring in the shape of an L. "Goodnight, Mr. Murphy."

The scene fades to black as the repeated impacts of Liberace's fist to his face become louder, and eventually sloppier sounding, as he beats Murphy to a bloody pulp.

Yeah, I'd give that a look.

Jeff is a dick. He wanted to rent The Butterfly Effect.

What a douchebag.


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