Friday, November 12, 2004

I'm in Los Angeles, everybody.

I'm not quite sure how to think about it.

I know that I've turned into a beast, which is scary, but driving in this goddamn town is no picnic either, I can tell you that much.

Yes, hearing the snap of your own jawbone as it seperates and extends outwards to accomodate a rapidly growing snout is a little unsettling, but it doesn't hold a candle to driving out into a busy intersection and trying to figure out which option of the three way fork on Lankershim will correctly lead to to Vineland.

I almost had a goddamn heart attack.

I know they say that the only thing that can kill a werewolf is a silver bullet, but that might be becuase Lon Cheney Jr. never had to navigate Los Angeles traffic in a rented Miata.

Christ, I miss the subway.

Anyway, I'm staying with my friend Kristin out here (not the ex, an actress friend of mine).

I tried to tell her about what I've been going through, how I've been recording it on this blog, and how I have this meeting and she gave me a big hug, kissed me on the cheek and said "Wow! that's a GREAT idea!" I tried to explain it a little more, and all she said was "Sweetie- horror is HOT HOT HOT right now, and you are onto something!"

I tried to explain myself a little further, but I figured it wasn't worth it.

Plus, there's not a full moon until November 26th, which means she isn't really in any danger. Also, thanks to whoever that person was who came up with the urine soaked rope for me to write with. It works like a charm, and means I'm not pissing all over Kristin's carpet.

The 26th is problematic though, as I was planning on being in Maine with my Grandparents for Thanksgiving, which is the 25th. It's stressful enough making conversation with my extended family, now I have to worry about eating them?

Who knows though, if I have to turn into a ravenous beast, the day after Thanksgiving might not be the worst time for it.

I mean, think about it, there's a good chance I'll be full.


At 7:27 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You might be able to take a homeopathic remedy to avoid turning into a wolf for Thanksgiving. Homeopathic wolfsbane, for example, though you should consult with a homeopath before taking any homeopathic remedy. Usually they're very understanding, and you might even get some actual medical information about your curse/condition.

And I know what you mean about LA traffic. The last time I was in LA, some vampires nearly ran me off the road up on Mulholland Drive.

I don't know if there's any werewolves out there, though there's supposedly quite a network in Maine. Try around Ellsworth or Blue Hill, if you're interested in finding them.

At 12:53 AM , Blogger The Unsomnambulist said...

I live in L.A., and I can assure you, it gets no worse than the traffic.
Wildfires, mudslides, earthquakes, rioting, drive by shootings. Nope, nothing worse than traffic.
Welcome to the city. If you're a werewolf, you should find meeting with the studio execs and agents to be familiar territory.

At 2:04 AM , Blogger blckveil said...

Who needs turkey anyway? Blood is much tastier and it does not contain that annoying couch-potato-creating tryptophan.
"Human, the other white meat"

At 9:59 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Homeopathic angle might work...
possibly Monkshood?
Acontium Dilycotonum(SP?)
or am I just believing "Ginger Snaps" to much? LOL
one thing I wonder about is you building up a tolerance to ANY treatment..
be careful out there in L.A and good luck in Maine.
and for God sake don't get killed!
There's GOT to be a cure!

At 12:23 PM , Anonymous Faustus said...

While you are at it you might get a dictionary - the word is spelled separate, and I do belive that you meant to write expedite when you typed something like "expedate."

At 5:07 PM , Blogger Kirk said...

Fuck you, grammar cop!

Also, YOU misspelled "believe."

Ha, ha.


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