Thursday, February 24, 2005

The hair thing.

Good call on reminding me about that.

Unfortunately, I didn't see it until I'd already transformed last night, so I didn't do anything about it. By the way, I think I'm really gonna need to get more sheep next month. I was much angrier in the cage last night and bent the shit out of the door last night, kind of raging to get out.

I did my best to fix it up today, and bought a length of chain to fortify it tonight. I also went ahead and bought a couple big bags of Alpo to leave in the cage, but I'm gonna have to go out and get another one soon, as I've already finished about half of one of the bags.

Sorry, but that shit is tasty, yo.

Also, I'm working on the hair issue. I don't have a webcam, but I had an idea. I went to the drugstore today, got some Manic Panic and dyed my hair red, both upstairs and down, (if you know what I'm saying.) The way I figure, if when I wake up tomorrow and it's not red, that means that the hair doesn't recede back into my body, but rather is replaced by new hair. Still, the question remains as to where the hell all that hair goes. I also got some nail polish and painted my fingernails.

I know that I am doing this in the name of science, but I gotta tell you, it's bizzare that in order to learn more about myself I have to dress up like a drummer in a ska band.

Christ.

I look ridiculous.

9 Comments:

At 3:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dog food?

Kirk- actual wolves would turn their noses up at dogfood! I'm not a warewolf, so I wouldn't know but I think I would rage against my cage too if I was locked up with a bag of Alpo and a thirst for blood-
shit man- have some respect for your ware-body!

Spring is coming and if I were you I'd be looking for all the "free kittens" signs you can find in NYC.

...dogfood, shit

 
At 7:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kittens!? Kittens? What’s next? Babies? I mean shit, you maybe a freaking werewolf, but there has to be a line somewhere that you shouldn’t cross. I think we should make it at kittens.

Let me tell you why:
a) They’re small and bony. It’ll take a whole lot of them to fill up your belly. This means you’ll be running around trying to find 20 kittens just to get through a night.

b) They mew and cry. So unless you get these kittens on the night that you’re going to change, you’re going to be stuck with a bunch of crying (besides your own that is). How irritating it that?

c) Unlike sheep, they’re not stupid. While you’re changing and raging, they’ll be slipping between the bars and hiding. So there you’ll be. Hungry, angry and listening to mewing.

d) I’ll call animal cruelty on your hairy ass.

Now I agree, dog food sucks. I can’t believe you’re eating that crap. Here’s an idea…why not go down to a grocery store and buy a pound of ground beef? Or head over to a butcher and get yourself a hindquarter of something?

Anything, just not kittens.

 
At 2:44 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello-
kitten-killer here again...

Seriously, kittens are smarter than sheep? really? You know this for real? How much smarter?

Or do you mean cuter? Sounds to me like you might have meant cuter. You did use the word "mew"- and that's a pretty cute word- but not a very smart word. Perhaps the word a sheep might have chosen if it were not so "stupid" An intellegent, objective, unbiased person might have chosen to use "meow" but its really not cute enough.
so

What is better, "euthanising" (killing) kittens that turn into stray cats- or- preventing a wild creature from going on a killing spree of say... ACTUAL PEOPLE?



Cute or not, I'll trade a sack of 20 (free) kittens for one dumb, ugly bastard.

Oh and the meat idea... not free, like kittens.

 
At 3:45 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kirk-
I liked your idea to wear nail pollish and dye your hair as disturbing as that visual was.

I think the test will show that your hair stays red because as your entire body expands, new hair will appear. That new hair will then be resorbed as you return. The interesting test would be to take a photo of yourself (maybe a time delay camera) during full wolf mode and see where the red hair is positioned. My theory is that the red hair will be diffused over a larger area- similar to how the color of a red baloon becomes pink as you inflate it, then returns to deep red as you deflate it.

as for the nails- I think they push out into claws then pull back in. try using soft polish or maybe wax and see if you then find remnant color scratched off in the cage or if your polish is damaged when you return.

just guessing

 
At 4:40 AM , Anonymous Dystopia said...

I imagine that the hair may be displaced, but the colour wouldn't change. New hairs would simply grow, but would the density of the hair increase. Humans have the follicles already, but the hair just isn't as pronounced.

Kirk, another possibility is to try shaving some part that normally has hair. Would that grow back or not?

 
At 10:12 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! I know! Why don't you get that ex-girlfriend with the handcuffs to come over and film you in the cage after "the change"?

And aren't whole, living sheep kind of expensive too? If you're looking for cheap or free meat - does it have to have a heartbeat? Could you scavenge restaurant trash bins at closing time? Granted, maggots are pretty horrible but then, so is Alpo.

Oh! Wait! Here's another idea. I live in a neighborhood that has both a sheep farm, and a horse stable. It's right smack dab in the middle of suburbia on the outskirts of a major metropolitan area. I'm thinking that if there are neighborhoods like that here, then there have got to be some in New York. Maybe you could just go in for some good, old fashioned livestock theft - you know, like the werewolves in German, big fucking forest folklore.

 
At 10:27 AM , Blogger —J said...

The problem with that being that the exGF would undoubtedly sell the video on furry sites, and make a few thousand.

 
At 11:24 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok stop the motherfucking bus here. 'Anti Kitten Killers' and Mr. 'Resorbing-Hair' I have to call shennanigans. Firstly, I don't think resorbing is a word. It may look cool and I get the gist of it but unless George Bush is posting comments on the blog can we avoid the process of making up words? Please? Especially when there is a perfectly available alternative: reabsorbing. Again, I point out the necessity of thinking, then posting. Not the other way around. America may think the strategery of creating words is on par with Gore inventing the internet. This is a HUGE misunderestimation of the truth. As for the kittens thing, maybe that is a train wreck, but when has that ever stoppped anyone? Face it folks, I'd rather Kirk was eating something other than me. If it has to be a boatload of cute kittens, so be it. We only want to save the cute fuzzy animals, no one complained about the BeeBee the sheep. Seriously. My last thought goes out the poem writing comment spewing individual, (or team, but if that was a team effort don't lose the fucking day job) if there is a blog commenter alone in the forest(in Brooklyn no less), and a large fucking tree falls on them will anyone hear it? Subsequently, we will be spared the horror of your prose?
-Sandy Clawz

 
At 4:13 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to comment on your comment, other Anonymous person.

Resorb is indeed an actual word. You have net access - use it to check online dictionaries.

Resorb, resorbing, resorption - all actual words, in common use in scientific and medical circles... and elsewhere like this blog :)

That was all. Just defending English from the onslaught of ignorant would-be prescriptivists.

 

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