Coffee with Kristen was weird.
I mean, I knew it was going to be weird, but check out this opening dialogue:
Kristen: Hi sweetie! It's so good to see you!
Kirk: Hey, Darlin!
Kristen: So what have you been up to?
Kirk: Well, lemme think. Hmm- since September? OK- well- I got bit by a werewolf, was visited by the spirit of a ghost in an iPod, transformed into a beast on the full moon, ate my cat, handcuffed myself to a bed for three days, terrified my family, and was inadvertantly responsible for a bus crash that killed a lot of people. Oh, and I beheaded one werewolf hunter, fell in love with the other one, and fought to get free from a mind control genius that falsely led me to believe I was the rogue champion of a national werewolf syndicate.
Kristen: National...national werewolf syndicate?
Kirk: No! I mean, yes- It wasn't real. I was under mind control. In reality, I was living in a basement in New Jersey having sex with dogs.
Kristen: Are you being funny?
OK- it didn't really go that way. But that's kind of what was on my mind when I was heading to the coffee shop. What happened was far more reserved:
Kristen: Hi sweetie! It's so good to see you!
Kirk: Hey, Darlin!
Kristen: So what have you been up to?
Kirk: You know- the same shit...but...
Kristen: But?
Kirk: But...
Kristen: But what?
Kirk: But more so.
I think I need to work on my communication skills.
4 Comments:
Um... I guess.
Yeah, you definitely need to work on your communication skills. At least you got writing down pat, for the most part.
Jesus Christ! Why the fuck is everyone a 'Writing Critic' these days? Is there a legion of repressed english teachers that all decided to read Kirk's blog? I have an idea, this is a blog. Read it, make meaningful comments about Kirk's adventures and fuck off. Not necessarily in that order. I'm sure you're all writing experts and such but please, go start your own blog, this isn't whatishappeningtomeandpleasecritiquemywritingstyle.blogspot.com.
Kirk, I'm glad you went for coffee with Kirsten. It's cool she digs handcuff. Alyssa, while all cool and such too, isn't worthy of a guy like you. I mean, the whole basement thing was a teensy weensy bit her fault. Hang in there good buddy. And just to make the writing experts happy, I like your style.
"Jesus Christ! Why the fuck is everyone a 'Writing Critic' these days? Is there a legion of repressed english teachers that all decided to read Kirk's blog? I have an idea, this is a blog. Read it, make meaningful comments about Kirk's adventures and fuck off. Not necessarily in that order. I'm sure you're all writing experts and such but please, go start your own blog, this isn't whatishappeningtomeandpleasecritiquemywritingstyle.blogspot.com."Not sure if the html tag for italics will make the above quote end up in italics or not. Anyways, very well put and I agree.
Kirk, I enjoy your blogography. Keep it coming!
Randwulf
I have to say, I really don't get the anti-criticism crowd here. What, are you all afraid somebody might make you *think*?
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