There's a Full Moon Tonight.

So I'd like to get this post in quickly, because it might be my last.

I feel awful, and almost totally confused.

But it's worth bringing up this interesting fact.

I didn't change last night. In the past, the night before the full moon had caused me to change, but as I look back though the blog, it hasn't always.

I asked Bruce about it, and he said that I am gaining control. Also, I wonder about what Alyssa said. She said that when one is content with his life, it is impossible to change into the wolf. And aren't I content? I mean, I live in a mansion with my own private quarters, enjoy the services of my own personal harem, and am given the appropriate respect due a rogue champion.

Still, in order for this existence to really be ideal, I'd have to still be a werewolf, right? I mean, if I get too complacent, when the time comes to face Bruce in the ring, if I can't change, well- that would be a problem.

I've begun to wonder if I should be trusting this guy.

I went down to his chambers this afternoon to ask him about it, and to discuss what would happen tonight on the change, and when I got there he welcomed me warmly.

"Kirk!" He said, sweeping the door open wide upon my arrival. "It is wonderful to see you. And I have something for you. Your victim."

He pulled a curtain, revealing a sprawling view of the grounds. About sixty feet away, shackled to a large elm tree and standing in the snow was Mickey.

"He will be released on the grounds at 6:00 PM." You will be released when you change. I suggest you go out to visit him, and get his scent."

I kept quiet, for the most part, and decided to go out there. Bruce was kind of freaking me out, and I was still wondering if I could even change. I felt the panic rise, and thought it was happening, and then it just turned out to be plain old panic. Which is also scary.

I walked out the front door, and crunched through the snow towards where Mickey was shackled. He had been gagged with a thick piece of burlap, and looked as though he had been beaten badly. I looked behind me, and saw Bruce standing a safe distance away. He could see me, but I wasn't sure if he could hear.

As I got closer, Mickey surged at his shackles. His guttural attempts at speech seemed so persistant, that as I approached him, I was consumed with a burning curiosity to remove his gag. I looked back at Bruce. He was watching, but definately keeping his distance.

I really wanted to find out what he had been doing in my room and on my computer.

Fuck it.

I reached out and untied his gag.

"Kirk! Kirk! You've got to list-"

I stopped his diatribe with a backhanded slap across his face. Hard. He shut up.

"I don't want to hear it. You'll get a chance to talk soon. What were you doing in my room Mickey? And where the hell have you been the past week?"

"My name isn't Mickey. Anymore...I'm...this is gonna sound weird..."

I looked down at the back of my hand and saw his blood on the back of my hand. I stared at it, brought my hand to my face and smelled it. I could see the fear in his face paralyzing him. I liked it. His scent was as clear to me as the beam of a flashlight in a pitch black room. "Whatever, asshole- I don't care who you are."

I turned and started walking away.

"This is a set up! You know me Kirk! I've been to see Alyssa!"

I stopped in my tracks.

He went on: "You know me Kirk, I used to be Mickey but he is gone now, and I'm in his body."

I turned around

"So who are you then? And make it fast."

"You know me. You know me.." He kind of started to cry a little. "My name is Dan. Dan Reilly."

Holy fucking shit.

"KIRK!"

The voice was Bruce's, and I heard his purposeful steps striding towards me though the snow.

Mickey's face looked up at me and I stared into his eyes.

"Kirk!" He whispered. "You know it's true. Don't do this. It was Alyssa...she got me out...We taked about the series, you hate the Cure, you thought voting for Kerry was more important than this werewolf shit...you...you..." he started blubbering a little more. He looked up at me. "Your cat's name was...he was named.... Grapes."

Now it was my turn to be paralyzed.

"Don't....don't trust him....."

A hand came down on my shoulder.

It was Bruce.

"You'll be changing soon. You have his scent. It is time to prepare."

He steered me around with his hand and with a light but persistent pressure, directed me back towards the house. It was already getting darker even though it wasn't yet 5:00. I couldn't resist him. I don't know if I was just stunned by what Mickey...or was it Dan had said. I mean, how the hell could Mickey have possibly known about Grapes? I mean-

I rush of blood went to my head and I stumbled.

"Everything will be fine. You are making tremendous progress."

Bruce's voice was soothing, and I just kept walking away.

He led me back to my room, and got me inside.

"Now is the time to prepare. You will be hunting and killing the victim tonight, and it is an important step. I'm sure you don't want to give this up."

"I...I'm just a little bit.."

"Confused?"

Fuck! He was right. Bruce is always right. He grabbed my hand, which still had the blood on it and thrust it to my face. The scent was still there, still strong, and it focused me.

"That is all you need to know. Now, rest. Attendants will come for you before the change. They will knock, and you must answer. Now- prepare."

As he left, I heard the lock click behind him. I wasn't going anywhere.

I rushed to my computer and started writing this thing out- maybe it will clear my head, maybe It'll give me some answers- maybe- maybe...

Oh God.

Someone is knocking.

It's a few minutes past six.

Wish me luck.