I don't know where to start.
I mean, fuck.
I don't even know if this blog is a good idea.
I gotta tell you people, I feel weird even posting this, but I'm telling myself that posting every day is the right thing to do, seeing as I slacked off so much when I was in that goddamn phony-ass werewolf syndicate.
The thing is, I know that there are a lot of people who read this thing now, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure to, oh I don't know- keep the story moving, but that's just the thing.
Life isn't a fucking story.
I had a long, shitty day at work, and for all the assholes who said that they called the store earlier, when I actually work there the only goddamn phone calls I get are from shitheads who want to know if Napolean Dynamite is in.
And it isn't.
By the way, that movie sucks, people.
For fuck's sake, there are so many movies out there that actually ARE cool, and you fucking sheep just want the latest fucking flash in the pan ripoff of something that Wes Anderson did WAY better?
I mean shit- rent Schizopolis, rent Wings of Desire, rent a fucking Hal Hartley movie, you assholes! There are great, cool quirky movies out there, and you shitheads need Napolean Dynamite? Crack a fucking book, read a website, do something!
Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem with somebody walking into a video store and just getting something to pass the time. Fuck- rent Secret Window, rent Collateral, rent that fucking totally average thing with the dude from scrubs and Natalie Portman, I don't give a fuck, that's fine, but you gotta call ahead for an epic piece of phony garbage like Napolean Dynamite?
And no, I don't care if I spelled it wrong.
Incidently, "Vote for Pedro" should really only be interpreted as a way to get behind the motherfucking World Champion Boston Red Sox.
I guess I just object to the idea that you are renting the "cool" movie because you have pretentions that you actually know what is cool, and I hate to tell you people, that ain't it.
The best part of my day happened around 11:30 AM, when there was no one in the video store and I watched the Buffy musical.
Buffy, by the way, on it's shittiest day, is way cooler than that colostomy bag of a movie.
And I haven't even seen it.
I've had it up to fucking here with all this "Geek Chic" shit. That ended in 1999, Get the fuck over it.
Nerds aren't cool, goddamnit, that's why they're nerds.
I'm sorry, I know you probably want to hear the whole goddamn story of how I got out of there, but guess what dickheads?
I don't feel like doing it tonight.
Go fuck yourselves.