Sunday, January 09, 2005

My motherfucking morals-

-are fine.

Thank you very much.

I mean, Christ!

Why is it that whenever I try to do the right thing some son-of-a bitch calls my morals into question? I mean, really- what are morals, after all? Rules? Internal safety zones to protect you from straying...well- where? Into evil?

Wake the fuck up people.

I have morals. I have done my best to live morally, given my "unusual circumstances" which I include in quotations because the problem I have is not your traditional "Bill finds a wallet with 40 dollars in it. Does he return the wallet with the money in it or does he steal it?" kind of morals, here.

I'm a motherfucking werewolf, and before that happened, I worked in a fucking video store for Christ's sake. I didn't really have anything going on! Yeah, I wrote, and yes- I've done some music, but fuck! Let's look at the real deal here. I wasn't doing that well!

And now- this thing happens to me, and all of a sudden there's a guy here who is going to teach me to become what I have the potential to become- somebody. And it doesn't matter if that somebody is a writer, or a musician, or any specific detailed thing, I just need to become....something.

And if that something is a werewolf, and there is a guy who knows how to make me the best werewolf I can be, then shouldn't I be allowed to explore that?!

I mean, fuck!

On page 99 of Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" the monster speaks for the first time. I know, maybe to those of you who only saw the movies, you think that the monster couldn't speak. But in the original, it can, and it does. It comes face to face with it's Creator, who hated it, like my parents hated me, and the Creator says:

"Devil! Do you dare to approach me?And do you not fear the fierce vengeance of my arm wreaked on your miserable head? Begone vile insect! Or rather stay, that I may trample you to dust! And oh! that I could, with the extinction of your miserable existence, restore those victims that you so diabolically murdered!?"

At this point, it is worth bringing up that in the novel, the monster had in fact, murdered several people close to the Creator. But he was pretty scared. It is also worth mentioning that I have only killed one guy myself, who was trying to kill me at the time, and was only indirectly responsible for the death of another, who- really, just fell into the wrong enclosed cell at the wrong time. And, yes, I caused a bus accident, but I was suicidal at the time, and anyway- I ended up saving a kid's life. So whatever, call Peter Singer, figure it out, fuck, I don't care, but I feel like however the moral calculus works out, I did the best I fucking could.

Just saying.

But now- even though Frankenstein's monster had killed, listen to his eloquence in response to the hatred he had just endured from his Creator:

"I expected this reception. All men hate the wretched; how, then must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! Yet you, my Creator, detest and spurn me, thy creature, to whom thou art bound by ties only dissoluble by the annihilation of one of us. You purport to kill me. How dare you sport thus with life? Do your duty toward me, and I will do mine towards you and the rest of mankind. If you will comply with my conditions, I will leave them and you at peace; but if you refuse, I will glut the maw of death, until it be satiated with the blood of your remaining friends."

OK- kinda fucked up, but eloquent, and he has a point.

First off, let's deal with the Monster's intelligence. In the movies, how fucked up is it that Frankenstein is some chock-a-block manchild without a thought in his head, yet the original text gives him such eloquence? I mean, if you watch a werewolf movie, the werewolves are all, well- animals. So does it not follow that werewolves in real life could be thoughtful members of society? Why must a werewolf be vicious? Does the possibility not exist that there could be a werewolf with a brain? I mean, when I was on Ativan, I was a real chill werewolf- why couldn't I learn to control that without the benefit of drugs?

Secondly, in terms of dealing with his bitterness, the monster has a point.

He is saying to his creator, or in my case, society, I will treat you the way you have treated me. Treat me as a monster, and a monster you will breed.

I am a member of a fraternity that is extremely rare. I can transform into something with incredible power. That power is to be respected and honored. I f you honor it, there is no reason for you to come to harm. If you attack me, I will strike back with terrible ferocity, and believe me, I have the capability to do so.

And those who are weak should die anyway.


It's funny.

I'm in the same apartment, but the video store seems pretty far away.


At 7:27 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kirk, I assume what had happened you might be a real curse. Simply, being bitten from another werewolf does NOT CHANGE you into a werewolf. It may be some kind of dark magic. Before writing a story, you must have some realities in it. Especially, when you want to have some followers.
Now how come do I now these? The stuff written all around the internet is only JERK. Drinking water from wolf's prints, getting yourself bitten by a wolf or werewolf, sleeping in moonlight all are JERK stuff. These are stories that are told to childern. Because, I am a REAL werewolf and know that being a WEREWOLF is not a CURSE. Moonlight effects only the new ones. Then, everyting is under your control. You can learn further realities by me, further stories by Kirk.

At 11:07 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting post Kirk, very thought provoking. As such, if the weak should die should the strong help them achieve that state? I don't want to challenge your morals, it's such a hazy concept, but consider this: your current status probably puts you higher on the food chain than me, possibly higher in an evolutionary sense as well (Darwinian rules of course). But I like rockin and rollin. Given that I'm 'weaker' (it's a fact, not sarcasm) than you it follows you could help me die. That is, if I'm a guppy and let you. You might find some other wolves in sheeps clothing. No pun intended.

At 3:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your mentor is certainly moving you along a very interesting path, and it also appears that you are becoming a rather apt pupil.

During times of drastic change, it's an interesting though experiment to consider how your current mind-set would have set with you a matter of days, weeks, or months ago. For example, would the "just a video store clerk" agree with the "Now I'm a werewolf and the means justify the ends?" mindset? Now while times indeed to change (comparing your mindset now against what it was as a child would indeed seem... childish) there is always a bit of wisdom in taking on such changes slowly.

At 6:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

any chance a human could go through werewolf training? or some watered-down version of it? it seems to me, there must be some lessons in that training for all of us. some of the lessons preached by alcoholics anonymous apply to even those who have never touched a drop, you know? you know your parable about the frightened, weak man who pulled a gun wasn't just something werewolves can learn from.

At 10:15 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Anomymous@3:52pm,
I am curious what lesson a mere human could learn from being shot in the fucking head. Other than directions to the morgue. Trust me, take this one at a distance and learn vicariously though Kirk. He's a novel guy, he'll spill all the good details.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home