Wednesday, December 22, 2004

HEY!

HOW ABOUT NOT FUCKING AROUND WITH THE EVITE!

Jesus, Christ, I send you people my link to Evite I got from some master werewolf, (last post) and one of you dickheads RSVP's for me?

Additionally, one of you wrote- "Yeah, he'll be there cause that's the story I want to read."

While I'm sure this is TREMENDOUSLY entertaining for you guys, let's remember- this is MY fucking life over here, That asshole has Alyssa, and everything you post on that fucking evite, he reads too.

How about not putting her life in danger?!

I mean, fuck!

I went to the link, and kept it at yes, with the proviso that if I don't see Alyssa, I walk. Or rather, run, as it will be a full moon that night and I won't have much time to get back to the cage.

Seriously people, don't fuck with the response- if he finds out about the blog, we all could be fucked. I'm pretty sure you don't want this guy tracking you down. Also, if he mentions it to Alyssa, she'll find out I didn't take the blog down, and even if I get her out of there alive, she'd be pissed as shit that I lied to her and kept this blog going. I hope he doesn't bring it up to me that my response changed.

Now seriously, don't fuck with it, or I'll have to take it down. If this guy finds out about the blog, I'll have to stop that too, this time for real.

Fucking people!


21 Comments:

At 2:56 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't delete the evite! Oh wait, you can't delete an eVite unless you created it. Oh wait, there's a flaw in your story, boy.

You told everyone where you were meeting... Why does the fucking eVite matter?

Also, have you considered that locking yourself in the cage won't work? You'll be trapped there, naked and alone, starving to death. We won't even get to read about it.

Also, I'm curious as to what happens to you on a day where the moon is visible and full during daylight and you're say... At the video store.

What happened to your ghost ipod? Did I miss the post where you lost it? Your apartment?

Sorry, someone has to be a skeptic to keep the story tight.

 
At 3:17 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just over three years ago, around Christmas, actually, was mauled by a large dog in Forest Park in Portland, Oregon. Since that day, I have been having regular black-outs multiple times a month. Sometimes they are far apart, other times they are on consecutive days. I never thought to compare them to the lunar cycles.

Nothing else you describe occurs to me. When I awake from my blackouts, I'm typically in bed, thanks to the help of my girlfriend (don't know how she puts up with me). My cat, still intact (the little shit).

Unexplained events have occured to me that you have not mentioned in your web log. For example, I typically wear a partial for a tooth I lost in a car accident. After one of my initial black outs, much to my surprise, that tooth had grown back. However, it grew back much faster that I remember growing teeth as a child.

Another artifact of the car accident, a perpetually sore knee, has seemingly disappeared. I think I might finally try snowboarding!

However, this last one, for me is the kicker. A miracle that I wouldn't trade anything for. About five years ago, I lived in an old apartment building. They were remodeling most of the apartments and shifting tenants around after certain apartments would be finished up. Due to the old construction, not only was their lead paint on the walls, there was asbestos in the ceilings! I didn't know what I was breathing. I didn't even know there was a problem until I developed a resperatory infection that wouldn't go away. I checked myself into a hospital that would become my home, off and on, for nearly a year. When doctors could not come up with a diagnosis for what had become of me, they did come to the conclusion that my lungs would soon fail if I did not find a donor (I didn't even know you could donate lungs). After a year and a half on a waiting list, I never found a donor before this, like the knee and tooth, was miraculously gone. Smoking a cigarette was my first thought.

None of this sounds much like your experience with exception of the dog mauling and the outside possibility that my blackouts actually correlate with the lunar cycle. I'll have to look into the latter a little more.

I guess my questions (finally) are... Do any of my experiences correlate to you? If I am indeed a werewolf, why don't I kill my girlfriend when she tries to help me?

Speaking of girlfriend, she's home. I should sign off before she sees this and wants to read it. I finally landed a good one and I don't want her to run out on me because I unknowingly lick my own nuts a few times a month.

 
At 6:12 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, well I just want to post this for those poor, misguided individuals that may think this is real.

I read the whole thing with the comments, and noticed folks asking about that bus accident story, the reported deaths, and other factors, asking for facts that could be proven without ever being replied to.

OK, now to the story.....

The werewolf that bit him, that was thought to have been shot, and killed by the police has reemerged? He's alive (probably not hit with silver bullets), suedo-friendly, but kidnaps his "girlfriend"?

The phantom IPod; that sounded so much like the best friend from the movie Werewolf in London; disappears without mention? Shit, a haunted IPod? How can you forget about that?

Then he is assualted by werewolf hunters, the main one is killed, but since he was tranqualized he passes out...so....how does Alyssa get him back to the loft, and into a cage, and also remove the decapitated body of a large man too? Is she a freaking linebacker? Also, he stated at some point that she mostly did clerical, and side work....then why was she on a mission?

After witnessing him kill her boss, she captures him, and locks him up only to then allow him access to the internet, a blog no less, where he could have called for help? She has not one, but two werewolves in cages, and she feeds them, watches movies with them, and plays video games with them. What is she building a zoo? All of a sudden, then she's helping him, sleeping with him, and now his girlfriend? Come on! Not like this guy is a charmer. He's a thirty something year old guy who works in a video store. If that's not enough he's supposedly a werewolf/murderer.

Yeah, this all makes sense.

This story rambles on, and has stumbled from one bad story to the next. No cohesion, no sense, no followable facts.

Kirk, sit down, take a breath, assemble your story man! You've got some talent for writing, but it's getting all jumbled man. Sounds like you just make stuff as it pops into your head, along with what you got from books, and movies.

 
At 6:20 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree. What about neighbors, parents, and friends? No one has noticed anything "odd" happening? What about the cops? I know it's New York, but they didn't find anything odd about his story? No investigation at all? Hasn't anyone noticed these people missing besides Kirk? Evites? Sheesh! Will the MIB's be instant messaging with him next? This story is hard to follow. My guess is that he will reply with something along the lines of - Life doesn't always make sense, especially one where supernatural things are happening, and he's stressed enough with all this happening to worry about if the story follows a pattern or makes sense to us. Anyway, I'm done.

-R

 
At 6:25 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah! How about those MIB's?!?!? The government is sure to be trolling the internet for key words like "werewolf", and when they find this blog they will track down his IP, find his comp, and then him!

If he was chosen to be a mighty anti-werewolf werewolf though.....

 
At 11:59 AM , Blogger The Red Reverend said...

Kirk,

I believe you. Not that it will help you much, I imagine, but there it is nonetheless. Take heart, and regard not too much the rantings of those who have written to disparage you. An unsigned letter of criticism is the most cowardly thing one can write, and should be discarded with contempt.

 
At 3:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Signed? Yeah...the red reverend is a great signature. No wonder he "believes". I'm with those others freaks. Signed or not, they at least make sense. I do like the story though. Just fix up those gaps. Go kick some werewolf ass, and juice up the sex scenes.

 
At 3:55 PM , Blogger Jereme said...

You know what? It's fine to be a skeptic. However, it's fun to let believers believe and skeptics be skeptics, without spoiling the fun for everyone.

Do you run into the living room on Christmas while kids are opening presents and scream, "There's no fucking Santa Claus! Those tags are a lie! He can't feasably make it around the world in one night, and that's just the beginning!"

As long as Kirk keeps up the (sometimes) good writing, and no matter what he and others believe, it's an entertaining read that I check in on daily.

It almost seems like you're offended by the prospect of fiction.

 
At 6:54 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's easy to be a critic, but let's see all these critics do better. Constructive criticism is one thing, but in this case it'd probably be better sent to him by email [whatishappeningtome@hotmail.com], unless you're just trying to impress everyone by detailing every flaw you think you find in the story.

Well, you aren't.

Why don't the critics lay off a bit and see where Kirk's going before you complain to the point where he just decided it isn't worth his hassle and quits? Life doesn't always make perfect sense, so try playing along once in a while. You might actually have more fun. If you aren't happy with it, don't read it. Plenty of us want to see what happens next.

Not to mention the health risks involved in pissing off a werewolf.

- Croc

 
At 3:14 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you asshats posting your clever little plot holes:

Could you imagine picking up a book from the library (let's say Tolkein's "The Hobbit") and then opening it up and seeing "THIS FUCKER IS LYING HOBBITS AREN'T REAL THIS DID NOT REALLY HAPPEN THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT, I SAW THROUGH IT AND YOU'RE A MORON FOR READING THESE LIES" scrawled on every other page? Can you imagine how furious that would make you?

Could you all shut the fuck up, please?

On to more pressing matters: Kirk, do you have any other friends you can confide in? I think that meeting this guy alone is a BAD idea. He did (allegedly) bite you and turn you into a monster (no offense). Maybe get someone to follow along and watch your back from the shadows. I'm worried that this time you might not be lucky enough to be put in a cage with internet access.

 
At 3:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Kirk - no matter what the 26th brings, Merry Christmas werewolf dude :)

 
At 8:32 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, Kirk,

A very happy Christmas to you. Try not to eat anyone. Or, if you do, might I suggest a trip down to Washington D.C? There's a few excess Senators and Cabinet officers I could suggest...

-- Chip

 
At 11:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Kirk! Keep the entries coming as long as you can!

And like Phil said above me, if you find yourself in Washington..., *looks around for MiBs and sees none here close by*... and go eat some Bush!

Randwulf

 
At 11:46 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

er, Chip I meant, not Phil.

Randwulf

 
At 4:43 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas....fiction or not, this story blows.

Take care dude.

 
At 7:06 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doesn't seem like they are offended by fiction, more like offended by bad fiction. Also, pointing out plot holes isn't anything like saying it is nothing but lies. This is not at all like a book in the library. This is interactive, and if the readers want answers then they should be allowed to question, and the writer to address them. Looks like Kirk has already gotten to the missing IPod. Why get so pissed over criticism, and open discussion? That's what this comments section is for. I personally don't care whether you choose to believe it's a true account or if it's fiction. There are plenty of unexplainable things out there. However, it would be a testimony of your inteligence if your truly convinced of this story though. Only my opinion.

To Kirk, don't give up the writing. Take criticism in stride, and don't let it get you down. Merry Christmas.

-Soupbone

 
At 7:16 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great! The people asking about the story gaps worked!

Kirk found the IPod! Although it was probably best left lost...Dan is an asshole. Download him into something, and keep the IPod.

Answer those other pesky questionable things Kirk, and let them know what's what!

I know I've gotten a little confused reading your story. From being bit, going to L.A, changing on a bus, being captured, getting a girl, loosing the girl, and all these side characters, whoa! I do want to know where this is going though.

-Chosky

 
At 9:29 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Life doesn't always make perfect sense, so try playing along once in a while".

I knew that excuse would come up.

 
At 10:45 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell those fucking Hobitts that life wasn't easy or fair.....

 
At 10:54 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0737722797/103-4277869-8720613?v=glance

-Don

 
At 9:22 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a real story?!?!? Come on! If you believe this, I mean really believe it, I have got some ocean front property to sell you, cheap too. This is entertainment. I'll agree with the people posting about cleaning up the story a bit. With any good story, plot holes bring it down and/or take away from the story. Good bit of work so far. I am looking forward to seeing what develops. Merry Christmas, and Happy New (moon) Year.

 

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