Thursday, March 03, 2005

Giggsy, this is Rhonda. Rhonda, Giggsy.

OK- I think that's out of my system now.

I appreciate the suggestions on pig names. I'm leaning towards Janney, Joyce and Neely, but I think I might just have to make a call when they arrive. Sometimes you need to see them to name them.

So I've been reading the site meter and have found some interesting search terms that have led people to this site. Here's a random sample:

liberace piano bench cartoon
kristen isn't cool.
fuck hockey
for every body candles los angeles
how can i shapeshift physically the easy way?
"clockwork orange"+"opening dialogue"
lycanthropy cures and treatments


Of course, there are a ton of "werewolf" , "zooskool" and "what is happening to me kirk" type searches, but that makes sense to me.

I just love the idea that someone was sitting alone in their home and desparately needed to take action to find a cartoon about Liberace's piano bench, and instead, found there way here.

I also like "fuck hockey", which sounds to me like an entertaining game, depending on the participants.

I must admit that I was kind of shocked to see "lycanthropy cures and treatments." I wasn't surprised that someone was searching for that, but I was sort of stunned that I hadn't thought to do it yet. So I did it, and I found some interesting, if not necessarily helpful stuff.

This from Answers.com:

Various methods also existed for removing the beast-shape...To kneel in one spot for a hundred years, to be reproached with being a werwolf, to be saluted with the sign of the cross, or addressed thrice by baptismal name, to be struck three blows on the forehead with a knife, or to have at least three drops of blood drawn have also been mentioned as possible cures.


Great.

Kneel in one spot for one hundred years.

With my attention span these days, I have a tough enough time sitting through a Buffy re-run.

Next!

To be reproached for being a werewolf.

Worth a try I guess.
Let's hear it commentors, reproach my ass, and make it good! But try to keep the reproachment pretty solidly on the "being a werewolf" thing. Don't muddy it up with saying how much hockey or Boston sports teams suck. Better safe than sorry, if this thing's gonna work.

to be saluted with the sign of the cross
I dunno. It might work, I guess I really haven't seen a cross in person in quite a while. I've been to church, but it was a Unitarian Universalist church and they aren't big on saluting each other with crosses over there. Who knows. Also, it begs the question whether that would work on werewolves who were Jews, Muslims, or proponents of Eastern Religions. But I guess that's the Unitarian in me talking. I guess I could try it.

addressed thrice by baptismal name
Well, let's try the other ones first. I'm still a little embarrassed about my middle name. Granted, I have no problem letting you guys know that I was shut up in a basement for months, having sex with dogs, but what can I tell you? Some things are personal. Maybe I'll get my parents to do it.

to be struck three blows on the forehead with a knife
Hmm. I wish Alyssa was here. She'd do that for me in a heartbeat. That's just not the kind of thing you ask a casual aquaintence for. You know, unless you're in some kind of bondage-y cash for abuse situation. And wouldn't know how to start looking for that. Plus, most of my disposable income is being tied up in livestock these days. I don't think bondage hookers are gonna be in the budget.

to have at least three drops of blood drawn
Jeez. That sounds icky. And vague. Drawn by who? And how much is in a "drop?" And what happens is more than 3 come out? Does that ruin it?


Ahh well, it was worth a look.

But let's hear those reproachals!

Don't spare my feelings here, people. Let's make them good.

5 Comments:

At 4:03 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm, I posted some other big name suggestions but the post didn't seem to show up. So I'll recap my favourites here:

1. Straw
2. Sticks
3. Bricks

1. Huff
2. Puff
3. Blowyourhousedown

You have to admit, these have thematic relevance.

 
At 5:31 PM , Anonymous Giggsy said...

Hmmm...I think reproaches in the contect of what you were reading might have religious connotations as well - if I remember correctly its catholic - a lamentation sung in church.

Still...your suggestion sounds more fun:

"how dare you carry on living with a curse that has led to death of innocents - more a certain to to die, and those who have died cannot find release whilst the bloodline remains intact. I reproach you for the sins you have done and those you are certain to do because you are a werewolf"

You might not have eaten those people on the bus, but changing into a werewolf directly caused the accident.

Consider your lupine ass reproached.

 
At 7:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I'm Dickhead, so I've been reproaching you for some time now.

Ps- a drop is considered to be 1/20 mL. Good luck!

 
At 11:54 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Urm, hasn't your "iPod friend" been repoaching you like a mother f***er? I mean, seriously. That guy has reproaching you like there is no tomorrow - which I suppose for him you know, there isn't...

-mpb

 
At 8:40 AM , Anonymous Rhonda said...

Seems like the reproaches are covered by both your iPod and other blog commentors. hahaha

I did, however, find more supposed "cures" for lycanthropy - while I can't vouch for whether or not they are true, at least they are something else to consider:

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/ Arcade/4626/history.html):


-Draw blood to fainting
-Prescribe "wholesome food"
-Sweet water baths
-Milk & whey for 3 days
-Purging the colon & encouraging vomiting
-Thyme
-Wormwood
-Acrid vinegar
-Rub nostrils with opium before bed (seriously!)
-Flogging
-Must be pierced with a wooden (aspen stake)
-Roll in the dew
-Wash in water
-Lop off the penis (drastic but effective)
-Exorcism
-Reproach the Wer-wolf verbally (better than lopping off a penis)
-Address the Wer-wolf three times with a Christian name
-Hit the Wer-wolf on the head three times with a knife
-Draw 3 drops of blood
-Salute with a sign of the cross


That website has a series of facts and other lycanthropy cases that might prove interesting, or at least be an amusing read.

Hopefully, you will stumble across something in the near future that might be useful to you.

 

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