Monday, March 21, 2005

My Dad is visiting tomorrow.

This is stressful.

By the way, sorry I haven't been posting as regularly last week. I was sick as a dog, which I suppose, as a man who is half-wolf wouldn't be THAT sick, but still.

It sucked.

Anyway, I'm feeling much better now, and all I have to deal with next week is turning into a wolf. It's cool with my Dad's visit though, he shows up Monday and will be gone on Wednesday, which is the 23rd. I'll have to make something up about the pigs. He still thinks that the problems that happened on thanksgiving were because I was on heroin. At least I don't have to worry about changing while he's here.

Full moon is the 25th, and if the normal pattern of changing the night before, night of, and night after keeps up, well he'll be back in Massachusetts while I'm feasting on Bob Joyce's bones.

That's one of the pigs, for those of you who aren't Bruins fans.

Joyce, Janney and Neely are the pigs, after one of the greatest lines in the history of Bruins hockey. Jesus, I miss hockey. Today, on ESPN classic, I watched the Detroit Red Wings beat the Carolina Hurricanes for the 2002 Stanley Cup.

God knows, a 3-1 win with an empty netter in a game that Carolina was never really in is a modern classic. I mean, if you wanted to watch Glen Wesley not winning the cup, isn't the '88 Bruins vs. Gretzky's Oilers the better game?

Ah, well- Christ, who am I kidding, it was brutal, but is it wrong to want to watch some Bruins hockey?

Oh, by the way, here's yet another brilliant idea some in the NHL are considering to garner viewers: Blue Ice.

Yep, the minor league team in Buffalo is experimenting with painting the ice surface blue, making the blue lines orange, and the red line, well, darker blue.

So the blue lines are um...orange, the red line is now...blue and the ice is as they describe it "electric powder blue?"

Great. I'm sure that the reason people weren't watching hockey was that the playing surface didn't look enough like Danny Partridge's summer tuxedo.

One problem that is continually brought up by people who aren't used to hockey is that they can't follow the puck. So what's the answer? That's right, make the ice darker.

Christ.

The ice is white.
The puck is black.

Can it be any more clear?

Look- here's the deal with hockey, and yes, this is the way they should market it:

If you can't follow the puck, go watch basketball. We don't need you. Hockey is the best, fastest, toughest, ballsiest, hardest sport to play and exel at. Utility players in hockey are better trained athletes than the starters in any other sport. Hockey players can outdrink you, outhit you, outwit you and cook you a dinner that is not only as delicious as any you would find in any of the world's finest restaurants, but would be laid out upon your plate in such a way as to cause even the most meticulous of culinary designers to gasp at the humble artistry.

OK- maybe I'm getting beyond myself.

But fuck it.

Hockey is great, and if you can't see that, well- fucking go to a game and make your life better.

I equate those who have not yet appreciated Stanley Cup playoff hockey to those who haven't yet read Catch-22.

I am jealous of them.

To be able to have something that pure, that true, that great lying yet undiscovered in your future would be incredible. It would mean that something in the future yet unseen contains beauty, truth, poetry, comedy and wonder beyond that of the ordinary same old- same old.

I mean, I know there are things like that out there for me, but God knows what they are. Playoff hockey and Catch-22 are available.

Well, Catch-22 is.

Fuck.

Can you tell I'm a little stressed over my Dad coming?

Maybe we'll go to a museum.

2 Comments:

At 4:42 PM , Anonymous rowd149 said...

well, see, the thing about hockey is, for the most part, you need ice. and for ice, you need it to be cold. and i, for one, no that a lot of people don't like being cold in the first place, and THEN getting knocked on their asses onto the ice. i'm not knocking hockey, just givin' you my thoughts on why some people don't like it. maybe if they marketed it as more multicultural, 'cuz i don't know too many of my black friends (including me) seeing as many stars that aren't white.
still, gotta feel you about that whole canceling hockey thing. sports are just like any other entertainment, the show must go on. you can't just skip a season and expect people to just look it over. the ice thing sounds cool, but they need some other hook to pull people in. with other pro sports, it's all about the money. obviously, that's not an option for hockey right now. but, even though i don't watch it often, i know it would suck to see any great sport go.

 
At 6:11 PM , Blogger bombom1st said...

hi kirk,thanks 4 replying but i expected{stupidly}a little more than whats up?but hey its good to talk!aghhhaah i AM FUCKING SICK OF FUCKIN HACKERS,I WOULDNT MIND BUT THERE IS NO FUCKING POINT IN ATTACKING ME!!!!1. I DONT OWN A CREDITCARD!2.I WAS DOING THE SHIT THEY ARE PROBABLY TRYING TO ACHEIVE WHEN THEY WERE IN FUCKING NAPPIES!!!!SO IF I WAS STUIPID ENOUGH TO HAVE ANY VALUEABLE DATA ANYWHERE IT WOULD NOT BE ON MY FUCKING PC....AHHHHHGGGHHAAATWATS.
Sorry about that every time i log on anywhere i get a hacker alert,its always crashing my on line games and when i trace{bother to}the fucker its always from rio or bwenos fuckin ares or whatever.shit it does piss me off.now i have lost my original train of thought.roll up...and again ,from ip adress 200.180.153.194 udp port 1030.i was just going to add that i hold nothing against them as when i was young and drempt of owning a modem and playing mud on telnet i too saw wargames and aspired to be one. fuck that then it was a dark art known to few,now every fuckin erc can have a doo at screwing your system up.bah AGAIN!!!!!

 

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