Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Alyssa called today.

It was sort of awkward.

I mean, she called to see how I was doing, and if I made it through the last change OK, but shit- it's been like 3 weeks since that happened. If she was really concerned, you'd think she'd pick up the phone a little earlier. Or, you know- BEFORE it happened.

She said that she'd been following it on the blog, so she knew I was OK, but still- a phone call wouldn't have killed her.

I told her as much, and by writing this, and knowing that she checks this blog, I guess she's reading it, but I'm not going to censor myself just cause she might be reading. I know it's kind of fucked up, to talk shit about her, but when you are infected with the disease of lycanthropy, being passive-aggressive just doesn't rank that high on the old affliction list. She said that she missed me, and that she's captured one werewolf, and had to kill three. She started in Italy, which she admitted was more vacation than vocation, and worked her way up through the Alps, where she was investigating a report of an Abominable Snowman to see if it was some kind of cold weather lycantharope. According to her, that whole legend is bullshit, and there was no real evidence she could find, so she went skiing for 2 weeks.

I have my doubts.

After the trip, she travelled through Germany, killed a pair of werewolves in Munich, after getting a distress signal from another werewolf hunter that used to know Williamson. They communicate online, and apparently have these coded websites devoted to werewolf activity. I asked her for the link and she said that she might lose a bit of her street cred if she gave out the werewolf hunter weblink to a werewolf. She has a point, I guess.

Oh, and don't bother googling it. I tried. If anybody has any leads on that, send me a link, I'd appreciate it.

Apparently, I'm fairly well known on the message boards, and on more than a few shit lists for killing not only Williamson, but Bruce as well. Fuck, for all I know, they read my blog too. Alyssa said she didn't tell them about it, but you know, she also conspired against me in a mind control plot that ended up with me having sex with dogs. So, you know- there's some fences that need rebuilding there is all.

Fuck it, I'm not doing any harm.

Still though, if anybody can figure out how to crack that, I'd appreciate it, I mean, sure- right now I'm pretty happy living here in Williamsburg eating livestock in a cage, and I can't imagine how I constitute a threat provided that the cage holds, but it'd be nice to know if some pissed off European Werewolf hunter is heading my way with a score to settle, you know?

Alyssa said she'd give me a heads up if that happened, but really- if you were a werewolf hunter with a vendetta, would you drop that info to the ex-girlfriend of the werewolf in question?

Who knows. I probably shouldn't worry about it. I've lived through worse problems.

Anyway, from Munich, Alyssa headed up to Scotland to do some research. Scotland is to werewolf study like Toronto is to Ice Hockey. They are really fucking into it up there. I wouldn't mind going some day, you know- provided that nobody wanted to kill me, cut me open, or do experiments on me. It kind of makes sense that Scotland would be the secret spot for werewolves and the study of them. I mean, is it really possible that a country's most impressive export would be men in plaid skirts and bagpipe music?

Seriously, they HAD to have something else cool going on over there.

So Alyssa met with this guy Cameron over there, and they went out on a double capture expedition that got a little hairy, so they had to kill one of the werewolves. Here's the kicker, the one they caught alive was female. It was fucked up too, the way Alyssa told me about her. She described the female werewolf in that annoying "Isn't THIS interesting" tone of voice.

You know the one.

It's the voice that that ex-girlfriends always use when they are trying to set you up with somebody. Except they never are trying to actually set you up with somebody,what they are saying is: "Hey- under the pretense of doing you the favor of letting you know about a woman you might relate to, I am actually letting you know that not only are we "still friends", but our relationship is totally fucking over."

I hate that.

Oh, and it's fucking snowing again today.

The pigs were supposed to show up, but the trailer couldn't make it through the snow.

And....Cameron?

What the fuck kind of name is that?

Screw it.

I'm gonna go make some soup.

5 Comments:

At 5:47 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scotland is also doing a pretty impressive trade in stem cell research. Maybe it's all related.

And what's up with you and this pattern of violent or potentially violent girlfriends? First, the handcuff chick and then Alyssa. I'm just saying.

 
At 5:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kirk, one word you web savvy fool: Talamasca. Jesus man, I thought even you might have paid attention to Anne Rice.

PS. I'm still working on your reproachal thingy. Strap in Cap'n this will be a doozy.

 
At 5:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kirk, one word you web savvy fool: Talamasca. Jesus man, I thought even you might have paid attention to Anne Rice.

PS. I'm still working on your reproachal thingy. Strap in Cap'n this will be a doozy.

 
At 5:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kirk, one word you web savvy fool: Talamasca. Jesus man, I thought even you might have paid attention to Anne Rice.

PS. I'm still working on your reproachal thingy. Strap in Cap'n this will be a doozy.

 
At 5:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kirk, one word you web savvy fool: Talamasca. Jesus man, I thought even you might have paid attention to Anne Rice.

PS. I'm still working on your reproachal thingy. Strap in Cap'n this will be a doozy.

 

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