Tuesday, April 05, 2005


Of COURSE that was an April Fools joke.

I mean, Jesus.

You silly bastards think for one second that I'd off myself without seeing the Red Sox get their rings?

Of course, I should have posted earlier I guess, but blogger was down yesterday.

In fact, I might end this blog pretty soon anyway- I made up the whole "getting out of the cage" thing just to set up April Fools. Actually, the whole transformation went great, I ate Cam Neely on the third night in the cage, and am currently shopping for something in a large baby cow for next month.

There's just not a lot of drama in it anymore for me.

It's pretty much wake up, eat food, work at video store, drink beer, fall asleep, wake up and repeat. Then, for three days a month it becomes: wake up, eat food,work at video store, get into cage, transform into wolf, eat livestock, fall asleep, wake up and repeat.

You know?

Still, sorry if you're pissed about the April Fools thing.

Call me a dick if you want.


At 1:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 1:40 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah Kirk, I peed on your couch. Like alot man. You should get that cleaned. Now that I have that off my chest it's time for you to clear some shit up. In not particular order:

1) The ipod. How's Dan? How's Grapes? How the fuck did they get in there? Is this some new proprietary data format from Apple? Spirit lossless format perhaps?

2) Aylssa. Dude, what the hell is up with that? Man, I wanna know! Do you guys still talk? Has she sorted her shit out? You guys getting freaky?

3) How about that Ex with the handcuffs?

Please Kirk, I can't take the suspense anymore.

At 1:41 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh - and don't end the blog. Really. There's kind of a dearth of fun reading in blogland. Just a lot of other silly bastards whining mainly - and your blog is way more entertaining than all that.

At 1:47 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kirk, when I said you were a beast, I meant it. And not just the whole literally turning into a beast thing, but that you were a beast even when just a normal guy. You're right up there with Maximus from Gladiator, that sick black guy from Dawn of the Dead, and Hulk Hogan when he lifted up Andre the Giant. All I'm getting at dude is, I'm glad you were enough of a douche to post that you were dead when you really weren't, because now I still have a rolemodel in life. Yep Kirk, that's right, I wanna be as beastial as you when I grow up. Keep it up man. Laters

At 2:31 PM , Blogger Laura said...

I was actually wondering how you killed yourself. I mean, you're sort of undead, yeah? It would take a hell of a lot of effort on your behalf to kill yourself. I mean, there's the whole silver bullet, but does that actually work?

Well, I just wasted about fifteen minutes trying to figure out the feasibility of silver bullets. The melting point of some of the metals used to make bullets are lower than that of silver, so I guess silver bullets are feasible. Whether they work though, that's a different story.

By the way, according to monstrous.com, you can cure lycanthropism by exorcism, as well as flogging, rolling in the dew and purging the werewolf's colon through vomiting. Granted, it also says you can cure a werewolf by, um, cutting off it's penis.

It's always nice to know you have options.

At 3:18 PM , Anonymous Rhonda said...

Well, that was a GREAT joke, seriously. I have been checking this page for the last few days, wondering...

But don't end the blog - it's way too entertaining. Feel free to make up shit if it gets boring - how the hell are we to know any different?

Thanks, and glad to see you're alive and kicking - even though that one anonymous guy commented that he peed on your couch. Ahhh, good times...

At 4:10 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! TEH DRAMA IS G0N O NOES!!1!!11!!1!1111


'Twas a decent joke there. Just feasible enough to be true, but with enough holes to let the conspiracy theorists have fun.

And since this question's more up your alley: which of the Red Sox players do you predict will make it and/or start in the All-Star game?


At 5:46 PM , Blogger grimcat said...

Hey. I've been following you since I found you through memepool. I'm glad you're not dead, and even more glad you didn't get out of your cage and kill someone.

That said, did you play the same joke on Dan? 'cause if you did... man. That's twisted. :)

At 7:27 PM , Anonymous Dickhead said...



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