Thursday, April 07, 2005

What a day yesterday-

God damn, do I love the Red Sox.

Beautiful day, beautiful outcome, and then a great evening hanging out with a few friends I hadn't seen in a while.

Here's another pretty amazing fact about yesterday- I got drunk TWICE.

TWICE!

Think about it, it's like- all the fun of getting drunk once- but TWICE!

Filled up on beer at the Stadium, got home, ate a little raw hamburger and watched the replay of the game on Yes. I took a quick nap in the middle innings, woke up sober-ish to watch Mariono and A-rod melt down again in spectacular fashion from all different angles, and headed over to my friend Joey's place for booze and scrabble.

I forgot how much fun Scrabble is, and was more than a little pissed that "Pez" isn't a word, especially when there was a triple word score on the line. But it was a good night, and my thoughts were almost entirely werewolf free, which I have learned is a blessing these days. Maybe I should play scrabble more, and earn a reputation as one of the best players in the world. I figure if I can get to a strong level of Scrabble, it would make my lycantharope status that much more interesting.

You see, in New York, it's not so much what you DO that makes you interesting, it's what ELSE you do. Like if you meet a woman, and she's a world renowned playwrite or something, sure that's cool. But what puts her over the top is when the OTHER interest is revealed. You know it's like cool- you're a playwrite, bitchin- and then her friend is like "She also was in the band Talking Heads for a while. You know, Tina was sick for a few weeks on the tour and she filled in." Then you're like "holy shit! That's amazing!" She'll be shy and modest about it, but it's that second goddamn thing that makes you fall in love.

I'm tellin' ya, do only one thing in this city and you're on a one way path to nowheresville. Which in case you're wondering, is a lot like Queens.

So I was thinking, I have a pretty cool first thing. I 'm a goddamn werewolf. That's something. But what is my second thing? I'm thinking word games. All of them. Like someone introduces me at a party, and thery're like, "Hey- this is Kirk Thomson. When the full moon rises into the sky, he physically transforms into a ferocious bloodthirsty monster, cabable of running up to speeds of 25 miles an hour and with the strength and power to take down an elephant in less than 11 seconds." Then, the woman who I was introduced to would be like "Really, you're a werewolf- facinating." Then my buddy pipes in with "you know what else he just did? Faced the North American Regional 'Boggle' Champion and handed him his fucking ass."

Actually, that's doesn't have the quite the same ring.

I'm gonna die alone.

8 Comments:

At 6:32 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Given your lack of typos in your post I would think that maybe you have a repressed word gaming gene. But Boggle? Regional Boggle Championships? That abso-fucking-lutely Boggles my mind. But seriously Kirk, what makes you special is the fact that you roll around with a ghostly iPod, have an Ex with a bondage fetish, you don't like hipsters, and you have a strange relationship with a girl that more-or-less wants to kill you.

And you think it's your mad word gaming skills. Jesus Christ.

 
At 7:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you ever considered looking up that female werewolf that Alyssa mentioned? I mean, sure, it would be kind of like letting Alyssa win, but it might totally be worth it...

BMO

 
At 9:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ya know kirk, another great comment might be "Yeah, I'm not just a werewolf, I'm a fucking BEAST." I mean, seriously, that sounds awesome. Any poon can be a werewolf, all it takes is a bite. But it takes a real... well, beast, to be a beast. And that's what you are. A beast. I know I've already said this, but I'll say it again. You sir, are beastial. You should have your own state. Signed, The Beast-in-Training

 
At 8:08 AM , Anonymous Rhonda said...

Your mad word game skillz are such a turn-on, actually...

Seriously, though, you do make a good point about the secondary career/skills being an attractive quality, now that I think about it. One of the things I like about this blog is that you often have entries that make me think.

You're like a nerdy cool werewolf with a heart of gold, a dark renegade with a soft side...hahahaha

I'm sorry - perhaps I need to cut back on my caffeine intake in the mornings.

Anyway, I'm glad to see you aren't really dead, and that you're continuing with this blog.

 
At 1:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kirk, you are a beautiful and unique snowflake. Just like everybody else.

 
At 5:35 PM , Anonymous rowd149 said...

i'm still mad at you about that whole lying-about-dying thing... dude, i CRIED when i read that. O.o... anyway, i agree with that guy above me. you should try checking with some other werewolves. atleast then you'll have some experience other than your own to go by.

 
At 6:11 PM , Blogger Thomas said...

Are you going to see Fever Pitch?

 
At 7:28 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

God I hope not.

The theater I work at hid the Fever Pitch ads in the back hallway where noone goes. Even the dumbfucks who run the megaplex can smell death on that flick.

 

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