Wednesday, May 25, 2005


Well, it is somewhat odd for me to begin writing this entry, as I've been doing this blog for about 8 months now, and this is the second to last entry.

I'm not kidding this time- I know that there have been a few false endings, practical jokes, and moments where I was positive that I would either be killed or take my own life, but that's not going to happen this time.

This blog was started under the title "What is happening to me, " and that is a question that has been answered. I've had a hell of a year, seen and done things that boggle the mind, gone to the extremes of sex, love, violence, joy, hatred and pain, and come out the other side ready to face my life again.

I know that several of you have commented that even if I'm not a monster, you'd still like to read about my life, but that's just it- when I was a werewolf, I needed the help- I needed to reach out to people, needed to know that I wasn't alone, and now, I just don't need that as much. As I've stated, the blog is a very personal medium, and serves the author more than the audience. While having certain segments of my life out in public has been helpful for me in the past, now, I think it's time for me to own it myself again.

I've learned a lot over the past 8 months, and not just how to properly insert a link in HTML. I've learned that change is essential, change is important, change is a vital part of life, but change is something that happens slowly, and often isn't even percieved until the transformation is complete.

You can't push the river.

Yes, I was bitten by a werewolf, and I have changed radically over the course of 20 minutes, into something that I don't think I will ever truly understand. But what I do understand is, that one cannot change into a werewolf if one doesn't also desire radical personal change. And I don't anymore. I have accepted what and who I am, and decided that any inward pain I have, can and will be made better by using the natural world around me to slowly work towards a better life.

If everything that pains us is caused by external factors of nature, it is those same external factors that can provide the cure. It just doesn't happen overnight, and I not only do I understand that now, the woman who made me understand it died in the hospital last night.

After losing her arm, Alyssa made it to the hospital OK, but lost too much blood, and passed away sometime around 3:30 in the morning.

Scott called just after it happened, I was back at the lab, cleaning up the bodies of Cameron and Chandler, and trying to make sense of what I was supposed to do. Scott broke the news to me, and I wanted to go right out and find Julie, but he explained to me that if I wasn't a werewolf, we really didn't stand much of a chance in a straight up fight, and it was better to track her using her ankle bracelet after she changed back this morning. I just hope to God she didn't bite anyone else. She ate most of Cameron's body, and in my experience, after I ate something large, I usually just looked for somewhere to sleep it off.

Let's hope that she did the same.

I checked in with Dan on the iPod, and we came up with a plan of attack.

I loaded the shotguns, and determined that we had to get to Julie before the moon rose. If she was a werewolf when we found her, we wouldn't stand a chance.

Then I went back to my place, fed the cow, and tried to get some sleep.

Scott called around 8:30, and I went back to the lab- the computers were kind of trashed, so it took quite a while for Scott to get things up and running- we needed to get a signal on Julie's ankle bracelet, providing that it wasn't destroyed. As it turned out, we didn't need it.

Scott sent me to Mikey's hookup for some supplies, and when I came back, around 3:30- he was gone. The following message was written on the mirror- in blood.


It was a little messier than that on the mirror, but there really isn't any kind of decent "written in blood" font, at least that I could find.

But you get the picture.

I checked for the shotguns, and one of them was gone. I picked up the iPod, told Dan about the situation, and waited.

There was nothing else I could do.

This is already a long post, and as tomorrow's will be the last- I'll save what happened for then.

Thanks to everyone who has been supportive and enjoyed this blog.

See you tomorrow.

In loving memory:

Alyssa Elizabeth Stevens


At 5:12 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...



Good luck.

At 7:36 PM , Anonymous Dickhead said...

Good luck.

At 7:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

O.o Wow.

At 8:19 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps you should consider using AutoBlogger after you quit writing for real?

Most of the people here probably wouldn't even notice! ;)

At 8:29 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, i don't think he really needs luck, since whatever he's writing in the next insallment already happened. but still. whether you decide that this is it for the blog or not, i've greatly enjoyed reading it and wish you well in the future.

At 1:41 AM , Anonymous Chip said...

I have really enjoyed your tale, about your changes. I hope that your future life brings you much joy.

At 7:56 AM , Anonymous Rhonda said...


Good luck with your life. We're pulling for you.

At 10:01 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

care to address any of the reasonable - not the insulting - questions about the factual/fictional nature of the blog?

At 12:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I have to say Kirk that even though I think you are full of crap I still enjoyed reading you little tale. Good luck

At 1:57 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not a question of being "full of crap." That's what this particular anonymous meant by the insulting questions about fact and fiction I voiced above. Obviously it's all fictional (or the product of a really serious delusion, but I doubt that), but I would like some acknowledgement about it being what I termed in a comment some days back a exercise in using the blog phenomenon to publish an epistolary novel. (Note that "Kirk," which is obviously a pseudonym, mentioned such novels several weeks ago.) As for the folks who believe that this is a real narrative of real events, well, I'm not sure where to begin bringing you into the real world . . .

At 3:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't understand why someone would need personal acknowledgement on what was fact or fiction in someone else's blog. No matter where it came from, it was a very good read and I've enjoyed it immensely.

Hope all goes well with your future plans, Kirk. (if that IS your real name..haha, just kiddin)

At 5:41 PM , Anonymous RobRoy said...

Regardless of what you think about these events - whether you believe Kirk or not - reading the post from yesterday was the first time I've ever said "Aw, fuck," because of something I read online. Kirk, I'm glad you've let us peek into your skull over the last year. Hopefully you can go on to better things from here.


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