The cow-

-showed up today, along with the chickens.

That fucking cow is HUGE. I guess I just misjudged how big it was. The son-of-bitch didn't fit in the elevator, so I had to walk her up the stairs. The chickens were easy as hell though.They're all hanging out in the cage now, and it smells like a fucking barnyard. Next time, somebody remind me to not buy an animal that shits so much.

And chicken shit is EVERYWHERE.

The chickens pretty much go in and out of the cage at will, and are shitting on everything. Thank God the bedroom door locks.

Oh, and thanks for all the suggestions on books. I was thinking about joining a book club, but I don't know- it just sounds like kind of a sissy thing to do. I mean, I'm looking to meet somebody, and it just doesn't sound that manly to say "Later baby- I'm going to book club."

Actually, that gives me an idea.

What if I were to kind of toughen up my book club by running it like Fight Club?

I'd get a bunch of guys, and a stack of literature, and we'd meet every week in a dirty basement with our shirts off. Then I'd stand up and say-

"The first rule of Book Club is - You do not talk about Book Club. The second rule of Book Club is - you DO NOT TALK ABOUT BOOK CLUB! And if this is your first night at Book Club, you HAVE TO READ."

I'd get into the middle of the circle and explain that while I feel that Walker Percy is an outstanding philosophical/religious voice, his novels ultimately fail as they are merely attempts to tell the same story over and over again from different perspectives. Then I'd puff up my chest, turn to my opponent and say "Now- I want you to refute my central thesis AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

Then we're off to the races.

I think it could work.